


A Cold Dish

by justthehiddles



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Implied Smut, Prank Wars, Pranks and Practical Jokes, and so is Loki, revenge is a dish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-07
Updated: 2020-03-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:27:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23052439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justthehiddles/pseuds/justthehiddles
Summary: Sam and the reader are engaged in an all out prank war.  The reader tries to recruit Loki to help get you get even!  Loki reluctantly agrees and a master plan is set into motion.
Relationships: Loki (Marvel)/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 74





	A Cold Dish

You never meant for it to get this out of hand. You just wanted a bit of fun. Now you stood in the living area of Avengers Tower, fully dressed, dripping water on the floor. You made a beeline for the man draped over the sofa, watching the TV.

“SAM!” you bellowed once you reach him.

“Why are you are all wet?” he responded with the smallest twitch of a smile at the corner of his lips. “And all over my pants?! I have somewhere to be later.” He brushed nonexistent drops of his jeans.

“I know it was you!” your nostrils flared.

“What do you mean?” Sam smiled up at you. “I have been here all afternoon. Isn’t that right, Steve?”

Steve looked over to the two of you and furrowed his eyebrows. “For the last time, I am not getting involved in this prank war.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Nice assist, man. I hide your ass from HYDRA and you can’t even lie about a little water.”

“One!” You stabbed your finger at Sam. “One prank birthday card and I deserve the Great Flood in my bedroom?”

“You started it,” Same rose from the couch, brushing past you, “You can finish it.”

He disappeared from view, and you flopped onto the couch, throwing daggers at Steve.

“Sorry, kid. I’ve fought enough wars to recognize when to stay out of the firefight.”

He left too, slapping you on the shoulder.

You glanced around for any other potential allies. “Loki!” you screamed as you scrambled off the couch to approach the Asgardian as he entered the kitchen.

“I beg the pardon. To what do I owe the joy of you screeching my name as you come hurtling towards me?”

“Help me get even with Sam.” you gasped.

“Absolutely not.”

You stomped your foot. “Aren’t you supposed to be the God of Mischief? This is right up your alley.”

“And yet, I am saying no.” Loki poured himself a glass of water and took a long sip.

“Why the hell won’t you help me?”

Loki tilted his head as he contemplated your words. “What can I say? I’m mercurial.” He walked back towards his living quarters.

“I thought you were my friend!” you yelled after him.

He waved his hand in a gesture of dismissal. “I don’t have friends.” he deadpanned as he moved out of sight.

-

You spent the rest of the week on edge, sneaking into rooms and looked at everyone with suspicion. You weren’t sleeping.

Early Sunday morning, you knocked on Loki’s door. You spun the oversized pink box in your hands. Loki whipped open the door with such force, you took a step back.

“What on earth can you possibly want at this ungodly hour?” he grumbled as he hitched his low slung pajamas onto his hip.

“I need your help.” you responded, pushing past him and into his living quarters.

Your eyes darted around the cluttered space. Clothes and dishes littered every flat surface of the small space. You wrinkled your nose.

“Ugh, ever heard of a washing machine?” You pushed a pile of clothes with your toe.

“I’m a god and a prince. Of course not.” Loki deadpanned. You rolled your eyes. “Now if you are done insulting my domestic skills…” He motioned to the door. “… I was sleeping.”

“But I need your help!” you pleaded as put the pink box on the small spot on the counter that was clear.

Loki stepped toe to toe with you. If you leaned forward, you could fall against his chest. Which would not be the worst thing. You often wondered how it would feel curled against Loki’s chest.

“Is this about your ridiculous prank war with Sam?” Loki sneered. “I believe I have made my intentions cle—”

“I’m willing to pay you for your services.” you blurted. When Loki’s face lit up and his eyebrows raised in interest.

“I’m listening.” He leaned against the counter, nudging the pink box. He looked down at the pink teetering on the edge. “Are those donuts?”

You pushed the donuts towards him. “Consider them a bribe.”

Loki lifted the lid and inhaled the sweet smell of sugar and dough. You smiled as he delicately selected a chocolate cake donut.

“When do we start?” He took a big bite of donut and smiled.

-

As the days passed, and you failed to retaliate for his latest prank, Sam peeked around corners and jumped at every noise. AT night he slept with a water gun under his pillow.

When he dragged himself into the kitchen, you were sitting at the counter sipping your coffee.

“Morning, Sam.” you chirped.

“Humph.” he grunted as he fumbled for a coffee mug. “Why are you so cheerful?” He squinted as you shrugged your shoulders. “What did you put in the coffee?”

Your lips curled into a Cheshire Cat grin. “Nothing.”

Steve wandered into the kitchen and rolled his eyes at the showdown between the two of you as he grabbed the milk from the fridge.

“Morning Steve.” you greeted.

“Morning.” He grabbed the coffee pot but Sam snatched it out of his hands.

“Don’t drink the coffee, man! She…” he jabbed a finger at you. “put something into it!”

You reeled back in mock shock. “I did nothing of the sort! These are false allegations!!”

“I’ll just get coffee downstairs.” Steve replaced the milk in the fridge and backed out of the kitchen.

Sam dumped the coffee down the drain, maintaining eye contact with you the entire time. You ate your breakfast in silence as Sam brewed more coffee.

POOF! As he opened the fridge to grab his creamer, a cloud of bright blue powder engulfed Sam’s face.

“The Smurf look is good for you.” you chuckled as you put your dishes in the sink.

“This is too far!!” he yelled, his nostrils flaring.

You slammed your hands down. “Watch yourself, Wilson! There’s no way I could have done this. Steve already opened the fridge, and I didn’t move!”

Sam opened his mouth to hurl more insults at you. “You… wait… You’re right.” His eyebrows furrowed as he confronted you. “How did you manage it?”

“Manage what?” you spat back. You shove his shoulder.

Sam thought and then snapped his fingers. “Your little friend, Loki. He’s helping you.”

“Loki doesn’t have friends.” You walked away, desperate to end the conversation. “Good luck getting that out of your hair.”

You waited until your door clicked shut before bursting into laughter. A flash of light appeared beside you.

“I take from your laughter, my trick worked as planned.” Loki draped himself over your couch.

“It was brilliant! How did you manage to not have that thing explode onto Steve?” You collapsed beside him. Your heart beat faster as his fingers brushed against your thigh.

Loki shook his head. “A simple spell.” He waved his hand in the air. “Child’s play.”

You turned to glance at him. “What do you have planned next?” In planning this whole ordeal, you gave Loki carte blanche.

“Where would be the fun in that, love?” Loki whispered in your ear. A shiver run down your spine at his silken tone.

You squirmed in your seat. “Fine, have your secrets.” You bounced up. “Now if you don’t mind…” you gestured towards the door. “… I would like to take a shower and get ready for the day.”

Loki crossed his impossibly long legs at the knee. “I don’t mind at all.” He stared at you and smirked.

“Hilarious. Now leave please so I can get undressed.” Your cheeks hot in embarrassment and arousal.

Loki rose from the couch. “I could help. As a friend.” His finger trailed down the side of your arm.

You walked him back towards the door. “I thought you didn’t have friends.” You opened the door and shoved him into the hallway. It took ten minutes for your heart rate to slow.

Loki stumbled into Tony, who was engrossed in whatever was on his phone. Tony regained his balance and sized up Loki. “Better luck next time, Reindeer Games.” He continued without bothering to look up.

“I beg your pardon?” Loki yelled after him but he didn’t respond.

-

Sam was on high alert as he strolled into the conference room. You sat towards the front room.

“Hey Sam!” You waved him to the seat next to you. “I saved you a seat.” You spied the tiniest hint of blue in his hairline.

“I’ll stand thank you very much.” He groaned as he leaned against the glass windows.

Tony strolled in. “Alright team, we got a lot of ground to cover and not a lot of time.” Tony waved at Sam. “Birdman…” Sam rolled his eyes. “… come sit down…” he pointed the seat next to you. “… here.”

“I’d rather stand, Tin Man.”

Tony threw a look that offered no room for further negotiation and Sam slinked towards the front of the room. He spent the entire meeting on the edge of his chair. You took full advantage by shaking his seat with your foot every so often. Sam yelped every time and Tony scowled your way.

“Alright, meeting adjourned.” He slammed his fists on the table.

He stopped you and Sam from leaving. “I don’t understand what’s going on between the two of you, but it ends today.” He gestured as though he was keeping eyes on you.

Sam turned to you. “You heard the man, it’s done.”

“It’s done when I say it’s done.”

“Come on!!” he yelled. “I can’t continue to live like this!”

“Next time, don’t freeze all my underwear!”

-

Later that evening, you spied Sam playing video games on the couch. You walked toward the kitchen to grab a snack when someone pulled into a small closet off to the side.

“Shh!” Loki shushed you as his hand remained tight around your waist. “You’ll ruin it.”

You struggled against his grip but not too much. “Ruin what?”

“The grand finale.” Loki raised a knowing eyebrow.

He turned your head to spy Sam, getting ready to take a bite of his dinner. As the food hit his lips, he threw the fork down. “Son of a bitch!”

Loki chuckled behind you, his chest rumbling against your back. “Now watch this.” He flicked his wrist.

Sam took another tentative bite. The spoon stuck fast to his lips. “What the hell?” He ran to the kitchen and poured hot water on the spoon, releasing it from his face.

“LOKI! I know this is you, you horny bastard!”

“And now for the final blow.” Loki commented, waving his hand one more time.

Sam sat up rod straight. “What the… Oh hell no!” he stood up with a jolt. You furrowed your brow in confusion. Loki gestured to keep watching.

Sam tugged at his shirt, pulling it up over his head. He scratched up and down his torso. Before long, Sam tugged on the waistband of his sweatpants.

“Jesus…” he cursed as he scratched his legs through the fabric. “Come on!!” He ripped the pants down, standing in his boxers with his pants pooled around his ankles.

Steve turned around the corner, he stopped mid-bite to stare at Sam.

“Man, I don’t even want to know. You need help.” He hightailed it out of the room, giving Sam some serious side eye.

You burst into loud laughter and Sam whipped around toward your laugh. “I KNEW IT!!” He stomped towards the closet. Loki pulled you against his chest. “Hold on.”

The two of you disappeared in a flash of light as Sam opened the door.

“I couldn’t have done this without you.” You hugged Loki tight as the two of you re-materialized in Loki’s quarters.

“He’s not wrong, you know?” Loki whispered in your ear as his arms held tight to your waist, gripping your shirt.

“That you were behind all of it. Of course he’s right, you were brilliant.”

“Not just that.” Loki’s lips grazed behind your ear. “my dear friend.”

You inhaled a sharp breath. “But you don’t have friends. You said so yourself.” you stuttered.

Loki licked his lips. “I don’t. But paramours, lovers.” Your mouth dropped open. “That’s an entirely different matter.”

Your lips crashed against his. Loki sighed against you as he tugged at your shirt.

“I think I can live with that.” you said with a smile on your face. Loki smiled back as he pulled you onto the couch.


End file.
